Cam Walker aka Struthless visited Three Rules podcast (episode 2) and one of his rules was:
Ask yourself: How is this the best to happen to me?
He explains it as a way to frame the setbacks and negative experiences in a way that can be turned into more positive ones.
He shares an example from his own life when he got way drunk and hungover and felt shamed about the entire thing. Thinking about his situation through the lens of this question, he thought he’d never get drunk again and has been sober ever since.
In The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck, Mark Manson writes about similar way of thinking about setbacks:
A lot of people treat being born with a disadvantage, whether OCD or small stature or something very different, as though they were screwed out of something highly valuable. They feel that there’s nothing they can do about it so they avoid responsibility for their situation. They figure, “I didn’t choose my crappy genetics, so it’s not my fault if things go wrong.”
And it’s true, it’s not their fault. But it’s still their responsibility.
He further discussed it in Three Rules podcast as his first rule.
Neither of these takes the bad experience away nor dismisses it in any way. Things still suck. But the way we respond to them and act after them is still in our hands.